(for all the physiotherapists out there)
If you get an amputee,
it is not a piece of cake
that you simply cut and take
to have along with cup of tea.
Start low, grow slow
but remember as they grow
if your patient starts to jump
or they have a jumpy stump,
you might get a bruise or lump.
If she or he is really tall
and should it happen that they fall,
you will hear a noisy bump.
Hairy stump is always good,
it means that hair is getting food
that’s provided by the blood.
If they are in pain or shock
simply use a good night sock
thats partly silver, even gold.
No matter if they’re young or old,
as they walk their hip will hitch,
the leg won’t move the way it’s told,
that can be just quite a (b.i.t.c.h.)
It’s all the same with phantom pain.
But as they say: no pain, no gain.
For them it’s fair if you’re in pain
when they hit you with a crutch
or simply stab you with a fork,
then your patient gets the gain.
This poem is a piece of work,
hope it isn’t out of line
and the English grammar’s fine.